


Anchor in the Dawn

by Danni_Lea



Category: Pacific Rim (2013), Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Mako Mori is a grade A badass, Raleigh Becker and his terrible coping mechanisms, Raleigh is a love sick puppy honestly, and will tear you to pieces with her bare hands if you touch her copilot, but I can't write romance for shit, might acutally be closer to queer platonic, so have a super awesome friendship instead
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 13:15:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14791179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danni_Lea/pseuds/Danni_Lea
Summary: Raleigh Becket has a problem, and frankly, he blames Mako Mori. Five years on the destined to fail Wall doing everything he could to just not think (not about Yancy, or Knifehead, or Jaz, or the future beyond trying to snag another shift) means he is completely unprepared for the end of the Kaiju War. He also, incidentally, is not prepared for Mako, Tendo, and Herc refusing to let him continue avoiding his problems.or;Mako Mori has a problem and that problem is a co-pilot with no sense of self-preservation (and a severe underestimation of his ability to move on from a war theywon)(Healing is a process, and it takes time and its not always easy, but they have each other.)





	Anchor in the Dawn

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Character & Fitness](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13578582) by [Jocelyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jocelyn/pseuds/Jocelyn). 



> Special thanks to my sister Mea, without whom this fic would be a mess of constantly changing verb tenses and awkward flow. More thanks to my partner-in-crime [ItsOnlyForever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsOnlyForever/pseuds/ItsOnlyForever) for giving me their sobbing reactions to this fic and yelling at me to keep writing.

Falling, Raleigh knew, was easy. He’d told Mako that anyone can fall, and he wasn’t wrong, and he wasn’t lying. All he had to do after he ejected her (because he couldn’t lose her like he lost Yancy, ripped from his mind panicking and screaming and desperate because even in his last moments all Yancy wanted to do was protect Raleigh) was fall into the breach and let Gipsy (his Jaeger, every bit a part of him as Yancy and Mako) blow and destroy that link between the Anteverse and Earth. It had been the easiest thing he’d done since Knifehead.

What Raleigh didn’t know how to do was stop falling. The only thing keeping him from falling right through the bottom of the chopper and into the ocean (and into and endless void he’ll never be able to forget) was the weight of Mako leaning against him, head on his shoulder, with his hand clasped in hers. Raleigh hadn’t felt this grounded since Yancy died and he didn’t really know what to do with that besides laying his head on top of Mako’s, eyes closed, and just listening to her breathe and reminding himself that she was there, that they were both fine and Mako wasn’t gone (even though he’d felt her fade from the drift, gradual and slow as her oxygen ran out and all part of him could think was _painYancy’sgoneRaleighlistentome_ and _ohgodohgodnotagaincan’tdothisagain_ ).

It was, of course, in this moment of pseudo-peace that Raleigh had tricked himself into, that one of medics approaches and roused both him and Mako.

“Alright, Rangers. Heads up, you need to stay awake until we get back to the dome for a full assessment,” the medic said.

Raleigh cracked open his eyes reluctantly but didn’t lift his head. Mako squeezed his fingers a little tighter and he squeezed back. It may have been awhile since he had to deal with post-combat procedures, but he remembered how they went. There hadn’t been time after the double event in Hong Kong for a thorough check-up by the medical staff- just enough to tell which Rangers were fit for combat- and then there was the triple event and Operation Pitfall. Raleigh hadn’t thought he was going to make it out of Gipsy Danger, let alone all the way back to the Shatterdome for a full medical and psych evaluation. He was, honestly, very aware that if it hadn’t been for an imminent apocalypse he would not have been cleared to step into the conn-pod by any psych team on the planet, let alone in the PPDC.

Raleigh was not looking forward to talking to the psychs.

Mako, sensing that her co-pilot was not as settled as he was letting the crew believe, shifted and squeezed his hand again, tucking herself closer to his side. In the ghost-drift, he could feel her reassurance and echoic grief. With a jolt, he remembered that she had lost a father today, and now was not the time to lose himself in his own grief and lingering panic. Mako needed him here in the present, not lost in the past trying to fight a long dead monster.

Maybe Raleigh didn’t know how to anchor himself to the present, but he could anchor Mako.

Raleigh had known medical was going to be a nightmare. Shortly after the copter carrying him and Mako had landed, they were hustled out of their armor and drive suits and dropped into the improvised double bed that usually appeared for pilots dealing with post-combat drifting. Raleigh was positive he and Mako had been poked, prodded, scanned, and tested with everything the doctors had on hand, as well as a few things they probably had Newt come up with.

Mako, able to read him scarily well after only drifting three times, leveled him with a Look that had him swallowing the rather scathing reply he had to the doctor’s latest round of questions. Raleigh knew he was pissing the doctor off by refusing to let go of Mako, but honestly, Raleigh had already had one person die in his head and with the number of times he’d had to relive the memory in the last few days, they were lucky he wasn’t curled around Mako hissing at anyone that came too close like a demented cat-lizard

(Okay, so the insomnia leads to binge watching some weird shit and maybe his similes and metaphors were little out there).

After someone insisted on trying to separate them again Mako leveled them with the smile – the one Raleigh knew from experience leads to an ass-kicking.

“We stay together,” she told them, the perfect picture of cooperation and calm and absolute steel, “And if you have a problem with it, get the Marshal.”

Raleigh was pretty sure he was in love.

“Keep it up with the heart eyes, Becket Boy, and you’re gonna be making me rich!”

Raleigh grinned and turned to face the door, “Tendo! They finally let you go?”

Tendo strolled up to the bed, “Yup. What’s left for me to do in the post-combat investigation can wait until we all get some rest,” he said with a pointed look at Raleigh. Raleigh honestly was not very surprised that Tendo already knew about his issues sleeping. Shatterdomes, Raleigh had learned, have better gossip vines than high school. When he couldn’t sleep he resorted to four things, generally: working out, reading, Rosetta Stone, and watching really weird late-night programming. Raleigh had attracted audiences while working on the Wall in Alaska (because apparently it was interesting to watch even washed up Rangers run through Jaeger Bushido drills) and he hadn’t really slept since coming to the Hong Kong Shatterdome. Raleigh had bumped into plenty of the late shift personnel, and figured that one or all of them had to be Tendo’s source of information.

“Resting wouldn’t be much of an issue if they’d stop trying to make us separate,” Raleigh grumbled. He was exhausted and wanted to sleep but was, on a rather large level he was trying not to acknowledge, a bit terrified that if he let go of Mako one or the both of them were going to fall away and he was going to feel it again – that _burningpanicourmindwasrippedinhalf_ and _yancyyancyyancycan’tfindyouohgod_. He knew having Mako’s mind torn from his – not the gradual fade out that happened in the breach when her oxygen ran out, but the full on _rippingtearingshredding_ he felt when Yancy died – would kill him.

Mako turned from the nurse she was talking to and raises an eyebrow at Raleigh. He was aware he sounded a bit like a petulant child, thanks Mako.

“We’ll be resting soon, Tendo,” she said and Raleigh feels a bit guilty. Mako, unlike her co-pilot, does not suffer from insomnia and she looked exhausted. He could feel her desire to sleep through the ghost drift but he also felt her stubborn refusal to sleep and leave him halfway to panicking.

Raleigh was sure there was something to say or do here, but it turned out purposefully isolating yourself as much as possible for five years kind of destroys your people skills.

“You better. I remember how stubborn this one gets when he doesn’t want to do something, so let me know if you need any help, Mako.” Tendo responded

“Hey!” Raleigh objected, mildly offended.

Tendo rolled his eyes, “Raleigh, I’ve known you since the academy. I worked in LOCCENT for all of your engagements, and you can be a stubborn asshole when you want to be.”

Raleigh really couldn’t protest again – he knew Tendo was right and with the way Mako was smirking at him, she knew it too. Raleigh just sighed and leaned into Mako. He was pretty tired too and could probably sleep for once. He did not remember the medical crew being this much of a pain in the ass five years ago. He was pretty sure he’d fallen asleep sprawled across Yancy before and nobody so much as blinked. He had no idea why they were trying to get him and Mako to different beds now. Also, from what he remembered that was against post-combat protocol for Jaeger pilots.

Which even after five years, Raleigh was pretty sure that hasn’t changed.

Probably.

Raleigh frowned at the doctor he, Tendo, and Mako had been ignoring, “Isn’t it against regulation for pilots to be separated after combat?”

The doctor, a man in his 40’s, if Raleigh had to guess, pursed his lips and responded, “Usually, yes, but neither you or Ranger Mori are showing signs of drift shock. Actually, you’re both remarkably...settled for pilots that are barely three hours out of combat.”

Mako gave the doctor her best are-you-an-idiot look, and Raleigh’s face fell into something entirely nonplussed. Tendo regarded the doctor with a look of exasperation and told him that he was possibly the stupidest man he’d ever met.

“You’ve got two generally reserved people who are clinging to each other and are refusing to put so much as an inch in between them. Just because they’re not in hysterics doesn’t mean they’re not dealing with post-combat drift symptoms,” Tendo said, “Where the hell did you get your qualifications for treating Rangers?”

“He hasn’t,” snapped a voice from the door. Mako and Raleigh turned and saw Herc Hansen strolling into the rather heavily equipped room they and had been stashed in. “He was just hired by the PPDC during the move to the Hong Kong Shatterdome; he hasn’t been trained in treating Rangers yet and shouldn’t be the lead physician for you two.”

The Marshal scowled at the doctor, “Well? Get the hell out of here and get McCoy!”

The unnamed doctor (Raleigh was sure he had introduced himself at some point, but honestly, he couldn’t care less at the moment about the idiot’s name) scowled and marched out the door. Raleigh had never been more happy to see a pissed off Marshal in his life.

To be fair that was because before it was always Raleigh pissing off the Marshal, so not being on the receiving end of Herc’s ire is a nice role reversal he could get behind.

Herc turned to Mako, Raleigh and Tendo before rolling his eyes, “Now that that moron is out of here, you three get to quarters and go the fuck to sleep.”

Raleigh frowned, “We aren’t waiting on Doc McCoy?”

Herc leveled Raleigh with a look.

Raleigh and Mako practically sprinted back to her room.

\---

By the time Mako was ready for bed, Raleigh had already managed to sprawl along one side of the bed and squeeze himself against the wall, leaving just enough room for Mako to flop down against his side and fling an arm along his back.

From the drift, Mako knew Raleigh had trouble sleeping, and when he did sleep it usually wasn’t for long because he’d eventually end up reliving Knifehead in his dreams and wake, sudden and harsh, as if the water spilling into the conn-pod in his memory was hitting him again in the waking world. She also knew that sometimes these memories and a flashback in his dream were triggered by the photos he kept on his wall.

So, today, after they finally won the war, Mako was determined that her co-pilot was going to get to sleep. Which is why they were in her room and not his (even though, technically, he had more space. She had more personal effects- the toys Sensei and gotten her and the few things she had left of her parents, such as her mother’s tea set and her father’s sword. She also had a desk for work that made her room seem much smaller than it actually was since it took up a good portion of one of her walls). Mako also hoped that the two of them together like this would keep her own personal monsters at bay; after reliving Onibaba just hours ago and then losing Sensei soon after, she knew it was very likely she’d have her own nightmares and flashbacks tonight.

Mako buried her face into Raleigh’s shoulder and slowly drifted to sleep. She dreamed of childhood snowball fights and learning to forge a sword, a mother with the scent of cigarettes clinging to her clothes and another mother teaching her to make her favorite sweet dish. She dreamed of the ground shaking with monstrous footsteps that inched closer much too quickly and far too slowly. Normally, when she dreams of the monster that killed her parents she is alone – small and frightened and clinging to a tiny red shoe. Now she stands tall in Gipsy Danger, Raleigh and sword at the ready.

This time, she slays the monster in her nightmares.

(And some part of them, that part that is created from their two minds merging, that stays connected outside of the Drift, stepped into Raleigh’s nightmare-memories of claws digging into the conn-pod of Gipsy, and the unending burning in his arm where his own monster and ripped it off, and the overwhelming pressure on his mind from taking on the entirety of Gipsy’s neural load, and of the other half of his very being being ripped into the sky and landing in freezing water. Together Mako and Raleigh climb into the cradle and stop the monster before its claws can ever get into Yancy Becket.

Later, when she was awake, Mako wished it was that easy to heal herself and Raleigh. She wished they could just step into each others minds and slay the monsters that lay there, freeing them from nightmares and should haves. But Mako had learned from Sensei and the child psychologist he insisted she see after he adopted her that healing, the healing she and Raleigh need, takes time.

She also knew that five years of isolation did not help Raleigh at all, and she wouldn’t let him wander away to stab at open wounds that had barely begun to stop bleeding, let alone scab over.

As long as they’re together they can heal).

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments letting me know what you think! My goal is to have chapter 2 to you guys by June 15, and comments keep the inspirations going!
> 
> Also feel free to poke me on [Tumblr](http://freyadt.tumblr.com/)!


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